it's annoying

i agree, julia. it's annoying me, too. it's like another part of me that isn't attached to me. my so far undying attachment for him. i'm annoyed at how desperate and how weak that rea is. like seriously, get over it.

i said that i need closure. but i don't know how "closure" goes since i have never once needed closure and never resorted to it. i always let it die out.

it's like when you were young and you were at the age where baby teeth were coming out. when i was little, i would always wait for it to just fall out so that it lessens the pain for me. maybe that's what i'm doing right now. waiting for it to burn itself out so i don't have to take the pain.

i feel like i should talk to him. i'm inspired by another person going through the same things i am (in that area). she talked to him for some "closure" but i think i should talk to her about that. see how she did it. because i need desperate help. i can't live this any longer. i need to move on.

being friendly doesn't help. knowing little signs he still cares doesn't help either. i think i need a clean break. i need to stop this madness! and i can't let it die out by itself. i need to take action this time.

if it was true love, it will come back to me. but i can't count on that. i've GOT to move on. i can't wait for another prince charming to sweep me off my feet and make me forget about him because prince charming ain't coming.

i need this.