selfishness

if you’ve ever read the catcher in the rye, i share almost the same views holden has of the world except not AS drastic and AS…hmm what’s the word. stereotypical. i dunno.

i think that most people are selfish. and most of the time, people are unaware of it. i’m not saying i’m not selfish (believe me, contrary to what natalie said, i can be pretty selfish…but i just try harder than most not to be). most people care about their lives and what’s relative to them.

i say this because i noticed that that is a common characteristic amongst my peers in walnut high. maybe it’s the same for other high schools and it’s not just limited to walnut. i wouldn’t know though being that i’ve never attended any other high school.

everything is about getting into college. i gotta volunteer this many hours because the colleges like it. i gotta take this many ap’s because the colleges like it. i’ve gotta have a gpa of 3.75 or above in order to get into this school. i gotta score 2000+ on the sat’s because colleges like it. COLLEGE COLLEGE COLLEGE COLLEGE.

when have you done something soley for the purpose of your own satisfaction? when have you taken up class without thinking “this will help me get into college”? hasn’t anyone in this damn school ever thought about life AFTER college?

basically, after college you’re either broke from student loans or broke because you don’t have a job. most jobs don’t really care what school you came from. it adds nicely to your resume yes, but in the end it’s all about if you can do the job and do it well.

maybe i’m speaking for myself. i don’t dream big. my biggest dream is to get married (once), have 2 (or 4) kids (not 3 cuz of the middle child xP), and live happily ever after doing wtvr it is i’m meant to do besides being a mother and wife.

it’s just…the second week of school i’ve already experienced situations where people are selfish. one instance is when these kids i know skipped their first ap bio test because they couldn’t handle studying for three tests and getting a low grade as a result of not studying enough for each test. i understand why they did it. they don’t want a low grade in their record. and most of us can’t understand how important that is to them, resulting in many of us bashing on those kids for the chickens that they are.

but i wasn’t mad or disturbed by them skipping the test…i was mad because they not once think about how it was a disadvantage to the REST of us who tried their best to study for all three tests. how they would get the better grade because of the extra time they get for studying and because people cannot keep things secret so they are given even more help for the test. is getting into college THAT important? do you not care about others now that the time to go to college is nearing? that dream is within grasp and you push everyone out of your way just to get a firm grip on it? what kind of people have these teenagers become?

if you’re reading this and you’re one of the kids i mentioned, please don’t be offended. and i’m not targeting you or holding anything against you. i’m just making a point. i’m sorry if i insulted you. i mean, i don't know maybe you DID think about others, but you still went ahead and did it. i may not be right on your intention so i apoligize.

i make it a point to myself to try as much as i can to treat others the way i want to be treated. that sounds very elementary, but people don’t realize the extent of that “life rule”. when i find something useful that can help me (such as that website i found that natalie mentioned in her post), i send it to others (not just my friends) who need it because if someone else had found that site, i would want them to do the same for me. but in reality, most people won’t do that like natalie said. they’ll send it to their little circle of friends yes, but that’s still a bit selfish. you might as well have told me “i want a better grade than you and i only care about these people.”

see i do those things because i hope that people will do that for me. but no. it’s not very often that i get my “good karma” back. but wtvr. i don’t want others suffering. if it were my choice, i’d chose to have the burden on me than on others.

yea i sorta made myself sound GODLY and all and i’m all bashing on people and stuff. i’m not SAYING i’m PERFECT. i’m totally not. i need more fixing fer sure. i’m just trying to make a point. and i am selfish sometimes and sometimes i can’t bring myself to be nicer to some people. AND i’m not saying that there are no good people in the world. there are. i just hope to meet more of them so that i don’t completely turn into holden from catcher in the rye.

Note: you might be thinking, “what a hypocrite, she’s in ib.” do you know why i’m in ib? i know it basically is not worth it for getting into colleges and i’m pretty much sacrificing my health to do well in these classes. i’m doing it because i love this stuff. analysis. knowledge. philosophy. more ways of understanding other’s perspectives. and i’m helping myself. its not just benefitting me in an educational way.