stalker

that word has a very negative connotation to it. stalker. in an instant you think of some creepy old guy taking a peek at you from a nearby window. or one who is mentally crazy and constantly checks up on where you are, who you're around, and what you're doing.

i like to say i'm a natural stalker. it's true. i am. but maybe stalker isn't the right word. i'm naturally observant. that's better. that makes you feel a little bit better, doesn't it?

i'm betting that when i said i was a natural stalker, you, my reader, went "whoa. wtf." as expected. i really mean to say is that i like to observe people; how they act, how they interact, how they live their lives, how they walk, talk, eat, do homework, wtvr.

i'm a very curious person. ask my mom. i am. i used to (and i guess still do though not as much) ask a lot of questions about anything i was confused about.

one of my main goals in life is to understand as many people as possible. i like to try to get into one's mind and see life through their eyes. if i don't understand why someone did something (like yell at me unexpectedly or fail a test), i try to figure out their reason behind their action.

i love reading blogs. blogs tell alot about people. no matter if they're just thoughts, opinions, or how their day went, everything leads up to getting to know someone better.

i read alot of people's blogs. i really do know them more by doing so. there are two blogs in particular where i never would have thought they think the way they do. their outward appearance deceives their true personality. the owner of one of those blogs i know for sure do not seem like they are like they are in their blog. when i first read a post of that person's, i was shocked. "could this really be him? but he sounds so...formal. he surely does not act that way in person."

as an observer, i notice alot of little things people do. the tones of their voices indicate if they're annoyed, mad, or really sad. even chatting with me i notice things. one person chats exactly how they are in person. no wait, two people do that. like trish. TRiSH CHATS WiTH YOU LiKE THiS. and in person, THAT'S HOW SHE TALKS. SHE TALKS WiTH A VERY LOUD VOICE. i'm not making fun of her, i just noticed her personality.

i admit, i look through people's facebook profiles often. i read alot of what they're doing and probably know more than i should for an outsider in their lives. one person likes to talk to many people. that's probably because he doesn't do much at home or is lonely. or bored. something to do with family being out all the time. probably.

some people are picky about their music and some others surprise me with their variety of music. i know one person (if they're reading this they'll probably know i'm talking about them) listens to alot of variety of music yes, but she's a lyric listener. most of the music she listens to has very significant messages behind their song or through their lyrics. i know another who listens to the same bands, same kind of music all the time, but shows a different small side of himself when he listens to ne-yo (which is totally random).

many have busy lives, many have dreams. i take in all aspects of themselves. their word choice, how they type, the tone of their voice, the little gestures they make when they're mad, sad, or what someone to understand what they're talking about.

one of the things that fail about my observations is that sometimes, i overly assume. i assume alot and usually i'm right. but sometimes my assumptions are totally wrong.

soooo if you suffered through this whole post, then i leave you with this: being a stalker isn't always a bad thing. maybe we're just curious at how you live your life. we mean no harm. though maybe i should speak for myself.