i want it that way

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRcb94TZaZw

dance final. i dunno how to put videos on blogs...

anyways, so i was thinking on the car ride on the way home thursday...nhs is so not worth the points. i mean...it IS a good club...but it's so not worth BUYING my way to get 5 measily points. 5 points for a $20 value :D! yea, it's not worth it.

so i didn't finish my nhs points. and i was thinking, i don't want to waste my parents' money. we're barely making it through the week and it amazes me how they put our happiness before money. i feel guilty and loved at the same time. if we ask for something, they'll probably buy it for us. that's why i don't like asking for stuff. i don't want to ask much because they're already struggling with what we have. i don't know HOW they manage to pay everything...we've got so much bills to pay...iono.

yea. so i decided to throw aside nhs for the sake of my family. nhs can suck it. i'm getting into some college without it. i will PROBABLY become a nurse, and you don't need a good background basically to do that...

here's my plan for the future as of now: i HOPE to get into ucla or uci, but it won't matter if i don't get in. i don't care what college i go to, i don't really care what career i'll have (as long as it doesn't make me unhappy)...in the end i just want a family, someone to love (and be loved back), and a stable job in order to be happy living a life with my family and being a mother and wife. that's all.

i figured, if i want to be happy, i shouldn't be suffering my way to it. happiness should come on its own. i'm going to do my best in school right now, i'm gonna try to get into a good college.

so no, i'm not doing ib because i think it will help me get into a good college. i'm doing it for the learning experience and to challenge myself. i know i can do it, i'm just being a dumbshit this year and i KNOW ib will force me to get my act together.

i also figured, if i can't find a career that suits what i like and pays well and doesn't take long to become...i'll stick to being a nurse or i will probably take vocational courses. that's all.